Unseen and Unheard

Letter of 1 January, 1945

Names have been changed to preserve the anonymity of the persons concerned.

Erika to Franz

p. 57-60

NB: [Erika does sign most of her letters to Franz with her name, but with a word I read as “Stück”. Literally translated it means “piece”. I guess it was some nickname between them, like she calls him “My little bear”. In the translation, I am using her real name and add “Stück” in brackets, because “Stück” is indeed a very unusual term, even for a nickname; the translator]

My dear little bear!

Let me start my first letter in the new year with a big “Good luck” to you. I hope all your expectations will be met and all your wishes will come true. Since it probably will take quite long until I get to know how you started the new year, I'm going to tell you how we started it. First of all, I have to confess that this was the most sober New Year's Eve ever. This does not describe only the alcohol consumption but my overall mental status, too. I do not deceive myself. I know how difficult the future will be for us. But I am not afraid. I feel strong enough to face all that may come. I was hoping to receive a call from you but unfortunately in vain. I'm sure you are thinking as much of me as I am thinking of you. Aunt Käthe and Valtin were at our place and when the bells announced midnight, we emptied the glasses for your luck and for uncle Horst, who is not at home neither. This way, you were with us after all. I constantly had to think of our previous New Year's Eve and how you broke the champagne glass with your fist after the stem had broken off. The shards did not bring us luck after all, luck cannot be forced. I am glad that 1944 finally is behind us, it brought more sorrow and suffering than happiness. Now it finally is over. I'm sure it was hard for your mother to start the new year without Harald and Rudi. It was a lot to take in for one year. Anyway, life goes on even for her and for all three of you who could not be at home. The gap Uncle Joseph left behind in our family is very big. That brought a New Year’s Eve full of painful memories for us sisters. Nevertheless, I am optimistic for the future. One day everything must come to an end, including this war. Additionally, I have you by my side. You were so supportive in these difficult months! Enough to give me the strength necessary to meet all challenges. It is especially hard for me at the moment since you are not allowed to write, and we cannot communicate with each other. However, I know exactly that I am in your heart and this feeling helps me a lot. I am convinced that you worry a lot about me hearing what is going on here. But these are unnecessary worries. Just remember that everything will turn out fine. I imagine that in case something happens to you, it will not take long for me to suffer the same destiny, and this thought is a huge comfort. Today they bombed us again on their way back. But we will not allow them to unsettle us. Sometimes I am wondering how our enemies have not stopped the bomb terror yet because they do not achieve anything with it. It will definitely not end the war. They may kill as many people as they want, there will always be the survivors to continue and to show them that we will bounce back. But their hate is too strong and pushes them forward in the attempt to kill us all. They will find us hard to beat.

You cannot imagine how curious I am for information on your missions. I can only guess and imagine. However, I had enough time to learn how to wait and continue hoping day after day that you will manage to get through with a phone call and we can exchange all news in one go. The most wonderful would be for you to come over for a visit.

Whenever I see a fighter plane in low-level flight above our house, I wish it were you. Until now it was only “friends”.

And now, my dear little bear, I end here and send you love and kisses.

Your Erika. [Stück]